Fitz, what are you doing with that burlap doll?

Internetlings,
In every genre, there are films that are remarkable not because they distinguish themselves from other films of that genre by doing something uncharacteristic or unprecedented, but rather because they adhere to the formula in such a way that it reminds the audience why the genre is worthwhile to begin with. 9 is one of [...]

Fitz, what the hell are all these vampires doing on the tele-vision?

Dot Comrades,
After a long silence, I have returned to careen down the superhighway of information like Vin Diesel in either the first or fourth installment of The Fast in the Furious. Or, given the infrequency of my posts, perhaps more like his cameo in Toyko Drift.
But now I can no longer sit idly by!
Blame the [...]

God damn this infernal contraption! Fitz, fetch the abbicus!

Citizens of Internet!
This is my first attempt to rise like a Suyoz spacecraft into the blogosphere, and I barely made it. I was beset by befuddlement, overcome with confusion at the disorienting layout. It was like trying to suckle the water of knowledge from a fire hydrant.
Did I nearly fail at the simple task of [...]