An Ode to Nutella

Yeah, I see you staring at me across the kitchen.

Why can’t I look away?

I know I shouldn’t. But you’re just too good.

Chocolate and hazelnut? What genius thought of that?

I must resist the urge.

But maybe just one bite…

2 Hours Later:

Roommates come back to the apartment and see a suspicious brown substance smeared upon the walls and a strong chocolate odor. They let out a small gasp of horror and dash to their bedrooms to see if some wild animal has entered the apartment and eaten the smelly cheese in the kitchen causing some violent stomach problems.

Instead, they find me happily rocking back and forth in the corner in a dream-like state painting dinosaurs on the wall with nutella. They at first don’t know how to react, but my gentle singing snaps them back to reality.

They pull me away and dump me in the bathtub, throw away the nutella, and swear never to speak of this event ever again.

Apparently, I get violent when they try to take the nutella jar from me and then start crying like a baby.

Moral of the Story:

Nutella is a dangerous drug kids. After just one use, you may wake up in a bath tub not knowing where you’ve been and having to explain why you bit your roommates and attacked them with a spoon. Stay away from it; no matter how great it may seem at the time.



Filed under insanity

3 responses to “An Ode to Nutella

  1. Claire

    Haha I think the dinosaurs are what make this so priceless 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s