..that I haven’t been able to tell lately because they don’t work in German.
1.) Q: What do you call a pig who lost his oink?
2.) A string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender tells him to scram, saying “We don’t take kindly to strings round here.” The string leaves without a fuss. Once outside, he gets an idea: He messes up his hair, twists himself all around to disguise his original shape, and reenters the bar. The bartender is suspicious, and asks, “Hey, aren’t you that string I just threw out of here?” The string smiles innocently and answers, “I’m afraid not!”
3.) A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. Suddenly, he starts swinging the dog in circles by his leash, crashing into tables and upsetting drinks. The bartender is shocked, and yells, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?!” The man responds, “Oh, just looking around.”
4.) A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich. The bartender refuses, saying, “We don’t serve food here.” The mushroom protests, “Why won’t you serve me? I’m a fun guy!”