Tag Archives: annoying

5 Most Annoying People at a Party

5 Most Annoying People at a Party

We’ve all seen them. While I’m not necessarily saying these people are bad since they definitely add a unique flair to the ambiance of a party, but they sure as hell are annoying. Some observations:

  • Photo Girl – She has a camera and she will use it. Your retinas will burn with a red glow the rest of the night. Photos of every angle and awkward encounter will be documented, posted, and sent to you employer, parents, and friends. There is no escaping. If you refuse to take part in one of her planned portraits, expect a glare that will kill a small part of your soul and then a flash that will blind you for the next 15 minutes.
  • Drunk Man/Women Who Will Hit-On Your Dog – This person knows no boundaries. As you are introducing yourself you notice them getting glassy eyed and staring at every girl or boy in the room including the person you just introduced as your significant other. Known this person since you were 2? Doesn’t matter. They will go there. The instant you leave the room to go to the bathroom the radars in their drunken and twisted mind hone in on your helpless girlfriend or boyfriend and corner them against the wall. You return and have to awkwardly direct their attention toward another helpless victim. By the end of the night they will be spooning with your dog or cat.
  • Destructo – Be it man or women, when this person gets into Grandpa’s cough medicine there is no turning back. They will stumble through walls, throw things, break bottles, and attempt to destroy anything without regard to the fact that someone might actually own this house or building and that someone cordially invited them to the party. This person’s wingman will usually have to drag them out of a pile of debris, apologize to everyone, and try to leave as quietly as possible. When reparations are asked for, this person denies anything ever happened. Lucky for you photo girl has documented everything.
  • I’m way too cool to be here – You stand in the corner scoffing at everyone. In fact you hate everyone at this party. No one really knows why you came. The few people who were polite enough to try and start a conversation with you leave the conversation feeling depressed and belittled. You sit with your hip drink, clothes, and opinions, which are clearly above everyone’s stature at this party. God forbid someone is actually having fun. You must suck the life out of the party anyway you can from that dark corner of the room.
  • I think I’m a DJ – The host has spent hours preparing a playlist and has an extensive music library. You toss their computer or ipod onto the floor where it is sure to be destroyed or stolen, and plug in your ipod with all the newest tunes. These sound similar to someone having sex with a robot and banging on a trash can. To make things better you change the song every two minutes just as we have found a beat in the song and started to dance. Do not try to recommend a song to this person. They will glare, kick you in the shins, and make you feel like your musical knowledge is that of a two year old who has heard nothing but sesame street their entire lives.

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Cash or Credit?

I’m experiencing a problem here in Germany.

They hate anyone who pays with plastic. For an American this is like eating spaghetti with your hands. Using a credit or debit card (responsibly) just makes sense. It’s a lot easier and it saves a crap load of time.

If you attempt to pay for something with a credit card the most common response you’ll get is a scoff and then a scold saying, “we don’t take that here”. Although in German it’s a lot less polite.

To make matters worse, they also get extremely offended by very small change or large bills. So, if one doesn’t have anything between 1 euro or 20 euros, then one is up the figurative shit river without a paddle.

You’ll hand them your card and then they’ll get pissed and outright refuse. Then you hand them the 50 euros the ATM automatically gives you and they’ll at first refuse to break it. Saying, “I can’t break that”, or “Fuck you”.  As you plead your case they finally concede to taking your legal tender, and open their drawer which you notice is stuffed full of 5’s, 10’s, and 20’s since it is clearly the only thing they like using.

I really can’t explain their irrational hatred for large bills or credit cards, or why they get so upset about breaking larger bills. If anyone has any insights about this, I would love to hear about it.

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The Noise!

I’ve taken to commuting very early in the morning from Halle to my school. The trip is an ideal opportunity to get some reading done, or just zone out and think. I was actually looking forward to it a bit. I could just sit on the train go into zombie-mode and only worry if the odd passenger caught me drooling again.

I’ve realized I’m cursed though. Maybe it’s just my heightened annoyance in the early morning or after working, but I’m pretty sure that every annoying and loud person in Germany flocks to the nearest seat they can find as soon as I sit down. You think I might be over-exaggerating, but I’m not. Every time I get on a train the car is completely empty. I set up camp and start to drool, read, or some combination of both, and just when I get comfortable I hear the train doors open (“pshhhhhht”) and know my fate is sealed.

Usually, I’ll get the kids who haven’t learned to control their volume yet. They’ll sit next to me and shout in my general direction to make sure I hear them. I’ll look up to acknowledge them and they’ll shoot me a death look and then make fun of my ‘not so hip’ outfit. I’ll cry one tear and then go back and try to read some more.

On the extra lucky days I’ll get a cougher. This person has become infected with some horrible virus, but refuses to acknowledge it. They’ll sneak up behind slowly and I won’t notice them until they hack up half their lung all over me. They’ll pause and recover, and the process repeats itself every five minutes.

I’m looking for that blissful train ride that I keep imagining in my head, but it has yet to appear. I’ll let you know if this myth ever comes to fruition.

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